Philippians 3:7-8

These past few years I've been struggling with my self-worth, being angry with God, at times, for leading me away from the sports that I love doing (and which gave me a certain amount of confidence in myself). I wondered why He wouldn't allow me to continue in these endeavors, and use any respect or renown they gave me as a platform from which I could proclaim the message of Christ crucified; but also, as a way of providing me confidence in myself and my abilities as an able and worthy servant of God. But after reading some of Paul's words to the Corinthians, I am realizing that such is not how God wants me--feeling confident and capable in my own ability to preach the message. I shouldn't build myself up through confidence in my knowledge, athleticism, or oratory. All these skills are weak because they all can be taken away, and are therefore shaky grounds on which to build a foundation of the mind. Even if done for the right reasons, building one's confidence on skills of the flesh is dangerous and deadly because they all can, and will eventually, be taken away. I can lose my knowledge. I will lose my body and athletic aptitude as I age. I could develop a stutter and lose my oratorical prowess. And then, I've lost not only those talents, but also the confidence in myself and my ability to serve God, which leaves me reeling from the pain of loss of talent, and worse, loss of identity.

But when I consider myself nothing more than a clay vessel, a privy pot, and instead focus on merely preaching the message of Christ crucified, and Him risen; relying on God to do the plowwork of the Spirit; and put any confidence for myself in the power of the Spirit; then I find myself on much stronger ground. For the power of God never wanes nor fades, and I will never lose heart for myself or this world when my confidence and identity is found in the eternal God alone. I can then always move forward as a child of God, and do infinitely more work to the glory of His Name.

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ" --Philippians 3:7-8