Move in day is a little under a fortnight away, and I am surprisingly feeling little emotion about it all. Which is not to say that I am not looking forward to it. I can't wait to get back to the place where so much spiritual growth was wrought and see God move me even more. Maybe it is still just too far away for the emotion to really kick in -- were I to let it loose now it would most likely consume me before I made it there. And it's also not to say that there is no apprehension in my mind. At times when I think about all that is required of me, I feel a bit overwhelmed and wonder what I have gotten myself into. I was actually talking to my mom about this last night at church dinner. Like she said to me: "You are about to go through one of the hardest things in your life; but one which will cause you to emerge a brand new, better man. It's kind of like mat drills, except for your spirit. This will be your spiritual mat drills."
Couldn't have said it better myself.
(And if you are wondering what mat drills are, ask me sometime and I'll let you know. Hint: it involves the University of Georgia, football, and 5:45am. )
25 August 2008
21 August 2008
2 Corinthians 4:16-17
"we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body." --2 Corinthians 4:8-10
To say that my family has been dealing with some problems in recent weeks would be an understatement. I will not clutter up this page with the particulars so as not to burden any of you unnecessarily. Besides, when you have a big problem, the particulars often don't really matter. Anyways, back to the original reason for writing. I was having an especially difficult time last week when the Enemy was getting at me in a tough way. Again sparing the particulars, he was basically telling me I was a failure. There were lots of difficult circumstances surrounding my life, and because of that I must be a failure. He kept pointing out all the other people who had such better circumstances (at least from the outside), and telling me I must be failing because my circumstances were not as good. There are people off doing great things, serving God, living their dreams, achieving great goals, building friendships and relationships, and making their people proud -- and here I am living in my parents' house not doing anything, and struggling emotionally while I do so. He just kept letting me have it day after day, and the failure mentality began to creep in.
But God soon opened my eyes to this latest attack, and told me I was not failing. Sure, there may be others who are enjoying more exciting lives at the moment, and my circumstances now may be tough. But tough circumstances don't mean I'm failing. Feeling lonely doesn't mean I'm failing. Not achieving great things doesn't mean I'm failing. Failure is not in my circumstances but in my reaction to them. Because of the hope I have from God through Christ, my circumstances have much less to do with the state of my success than my attitude toward Him. The tough circumstances didn't mean I was failing. The only thing that could mean I was failing was if I gave up on my faith. But as I looked back I found that those difficult moments weren't driving me away, but actually driving me closer and closer. By the grace of God, I found myself clinging to Him in those moments when things seemed ready to crash down. And I found in Him a strength that survives and supports even when everything else fails. I was not failing because the Rock on which I am built never fails.
The Pharisees thought Jesus failed when He died because they thought His death prevented Him from becoming Messiah. But the thing they thought proved Him a failure was actually the very thing that made Him a success. To them His death was failure at achieving His goal; but to Him, it was success because it enabled Him to achieve His goal: the salvation of our souls. Likewise, this struggling which the Enemy points out as my failure is not my failure. My difficult circumstances are not failure at achieving my goal, but are actually those which are enabling me to achieve my goal: honoring God through the perfecting of my faith. Success is not necessarily found in thriving circumstances, as some people in our world would like me to think, but in the perfecting of my faith, in my soul being made more and more like Christ. This is the purpose of my life, because as I become more and more like Christ I bring more and more glory to God. And so long as I am on that path, my circumstances make no matter. Failure is not in the circumstances but in my reaction to them. I am so thankful today to serve a God who has power enough to sustain me through all things; who has wisdom enough to orchestrate the perfecting of my faith through such difficult circumstances; and who has love enough to forgive me when I actually do fail.
"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison" --2 Corinthians 4:16-17
To say that my family has been dealing with some problems in recent weeks would be an understatement. I will not clutter up this page with the particulars so as not to burden any of you unnecessarily. Besides, when you have a big problem, the particulars often don't really matter. Anyways, back to the original reason for writing. I was having an especially difficult time last week when the Enemy was getting at me in a tough way. Again sparing the particulars, he was basically telling me I was a failure. There were lots of difficult circumstances surrounding my life, and because of that I must be a failure. He kept pointing out all the other people who had such better circumstances (at least from the outside), and telling me I must be failing because my circumstances were not as good. There are people off doing great things, serving God, living their dreams, achieving great goals, building friendships and relationships, and making their people proud -- and here I am living in my parents' house not doing anything, and struggling emotionally while I do so. He just kept letting me have it day after day, and the failure mentality began to creep in.
But God soon opened my eyes to this latest attack, and told me I was not failing. Sure, there may be others who are enjoying more exciting lives at the moment, and my circumstances now may be tough. But tough circumstances don't mean I'm failing. Feeling lonely doesn't mean I'm failing. Not achieving great things doesn't mean I'm failing. Failure is not in my circumstances but in my reaction to them. Because of the hope I have from God through Christ, my circumstances have much less to do with the state of my success than my attitude toward Him. The tough circumstances didn't mean I was failing. The only thing that could mean I was failing was if I gave up on my faith. But as I looked back I found that those difficult moments weren't driving me away, but actually driving me closer and closer. By the grace of God, I found myself clinging to Him in those moments when things seemed ready to crash down. And I found in Him a strength that survives and supports even when everything else fails. I was not failing because the Rock on which I am built never fails.
The Pharisees thought Jesus failed when He died because they thought His death prevented Him from becoming Messiah. But the thing they thought proved Him a failure was actually the very thing that made Him a success. To them His death was failure at achieving His goal; but to Him, it was success because it enabled Him to achieve His goal: the salvation of our souls. Likewise, this struggling which the Enemy points out as my failure is not my failure. My difficult circumstances are not failure at achieving my goal, but are actually those which are enabling me to achieve my goal: honoring God through the perfecting of my faith. Success is not necessarily found in thriving circumstances, as some people in our world would like me to think, but in the perfecting of my faith, in my soul being made more and more like Christ. This is the purpose of my life, because as I become more and more like Christ I bring more and more glory to God. And so long as I am on that path, my circumstances make no matter. Failure is not in the circumstances but in my reaction to them. I am so thankful today to serve a God who has power enough to sustain me through all things; who has wisdom enough to orchestrate the perfecting of my faith through such difficult circumstances; and who has love enough to forgive me when I actually do fail.
"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison" --2 Corinthians 4:16-17
10 August 2008
Colossians 3:23-24
I was moving out of my apartment in Athens last week, and a realization suddenly occurred to me: somehow I wound up doing a lot of extra work to get the apartment ready for move out inspection. Mostly this was due to the fact I was the last one there, and the others had to move out in haste. And it's not like I had to make major repairs or anything; but I started feeling wronged nonetheless. Our wonderful Enemy began to whisper in my ear that this was a great injustice--why should I have to do all this extra work? I listened to this voice for a bit, but then the Spirit began to whisper a little louder. Through God's grace I found myself listening more and more to the Spirit and not the Enemy. And like He usually does, I found the Spirit whispering Truth that silenced the lies and stopped the Enemy in his tracks.
As I emerged from this little episode in my life, I saw God teaching me something: simply put, there are some tasks in life which are not glamorous nor glorious, but they must be done. There is no fanfare for finishing, nor any glory in the going, but it must be completed nonetheless. No one will see you selflessly slaving away, nor will they say thank you when the task is ended. But the job must be done. It's tough going sometimes in those moments, but in the end it is good for us to have to do these types of jobs. For one thing, it teaches us to appreciate the "thank you's" we do receive. We learn the beauty and value in a simple "good job," especially when we've had to do some gross and difficult things without even a second glance. And if earthly "thank you's" have a sweeter sound, how much sweeter still will it be to hear the eternal God say "Well done, good and faithful servant." Regardless we can take solace in the fact that God is watching, and He is taking note of every task completed in His name ("And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'" --Matthew 25:40).
But more than that, rejoice in the perfecting of your faith that God brings about in these moments ("so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;" --1 Peter 1:7). What great humility can we learn through completing such tasks, through suffering and serving in silence. We learn to tune in totally to our audience of one -- to pay attention to God's attention and no other. We learn the heart of our Savior, "who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." --Philippians 2:6-8) -- and allow Him to grow a little bit of His humility in us. Oh that His humility would take over my heart and mind until I am consumed in His grace! May I become like David -- a man after God's own heart.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." --Colossians 3:23
As I emerged from this little episode in my life, I saw God teaching me something: simply put, there are some tasks in life which are not glamorous nor glorious, but they must be done. There is no fanfare for finishing, nor any glory in the going, but it must be completed nonetheless. No one will see you selflessly slaving away, nor will they say thank you when the task is ended. But the job must be done. It's tough going sometimes in those moments, but in the end it is good for us to have to do these types of jobs. For one thing, it teaches us to appreciate the "thank you's" we do receive. We learn the beauty and value in a simple "good job," especially when we've had to do some gross and difficult things without even a second glance. And if earthly "thank you's" have a sweeter sound, how much sweeter still will it be to hear the eternal God say "Well done, good and faithful servant." Regardless we can take solace in the fact that God is watching, and He is taking note of every task completed in His name ("And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'" --Matthew 25:40).
But more than that, rejoice in the perfecting of your faith that God brings about in these moments ("so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;" --1 Peter 1:7). What great humility can we learn through completing such tasks, through suffering and serving in silence. We learn to tune in totally to our audience of one -- to pay attention to God's attention and no other. We learn the heart of our Savior, "who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." --Philippians 2:6-8) -- and allow Him to grow a little bit of His humility in us. Oh that His humility would take over my heart and mind until I am consumed in His grace! May I become like David -- a man after God's own heart.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." --Colossians 3:23
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