2 Corinthians 4:16-17

"we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body." --2 Corinthians 4:8-10


To say that my family has been dealing with some problems in recent weeks would be an understatement. I will not clutter up this page with the particulars so as not to burden any of you unnecessarily. Besides, when you have a big problem, the particulars often don't really matter. Anyways, back to the original reason for writing. I was having an especially difficult time last week when the Enemy was getting at me in a tough way. Again sparing the particulars, he was basically telling me I was a failure. There were lots of difficult circumstances surrounding my life, and because of that I must be a failure. He kept pointing out all the other people who had such better circumstances (at least from the outside), and telling me I must be failing because my circumstances were not as good. There are people off doing great things, serving God, living their dreams, achieving great goals, building friendships and relationships, and making their people proud -- and here I am living in my parents' house not doing anything, and struggling emotionally while I do so. He just kept letting me have it day after day, and the failure mentality began to creep in.

But God soon opened my eyes to this latest attack, and told me I was not failing. Sure, there may be others who are enjoying more exciting lives at the moment, and my circumstances now may be tough. But tough circumstances don't mean I'm failing. Feeling lonely doesn't mean I'm failing. Not achieving great things doesn't mean I'm failing. Failure is not in my circumstances but in my reaction to them. Because of the hope I have from God through Christ, my circumstances have much less to do with the state of my success than my attitude toward Him. The tough circumstances didn't mean I was failing. The only thing that could mean I was failing was if I gave up on my faith. But as I looked back I found that those difficult moments weren't driving me away, but actually driving me closer and closer. By the grace of God, I found myself clinging to Him in those moments when things seemed ready to crash down. And I found in Him a strength that survives and supports even when everything else fails. I was not failing because the Rock on which I am built never fails.

The Pharisees thought Jesus failed when He died because they thought His death prevented Him from becoming Messiah. But the thing they thought proved Him a failure was actually the very thing that made Him a success. To them His death was failure at achieving His goal; but to Him, it was success because it enabled Him to achieve His goal: the salvation of our souls. Likewise, this struggling which the Enemy points out as my failure is not my failure. My difficult circumstances are not failure at achieving my goal, but are actually those which are enabling me to achieve my goal: honoring God through the perfecting of my faith. Success is not necessarily found in thriving circumstances, as some people in our world would like me to think, but in the perfecting of my faith, in my soul being made more and more like Christ. This is the purpose of my life, because as I become more and more like Christ I bring more and more glory to God. And so long as I am on that path, my circumstances make no matter. Failure is not in the circumstances but in my reaction to them. I am so thankful today to serve a God who has power enough to sustain me through all things; who has wisdom enough to orchestrate the perfecting of my faith through such difficult circumstances; and who has love enough to forgive me when I actually do fail.


"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison" --2 Corinthians 4:16-17